What You Want
As I relaxed with him, I got more comfortable
speaking up about what I liked, demonstrating
how I touched myself, and being vocal when
something wasn’t working for me.
During intercourse, I worked up the courage to touch myself
or brought in a vibrator. It actually turned him on.
I fantasized when I needed to, but I also learned
to get more in the moment by thinking sexy thoughts
about what we were doing—and sharing them with my partner.
By the end of our three-year relationship, orgasming
with him was easy and I knew having an orgasm during
sex was far from impossible.
The vulva is the correct name for the female genitals.
The word encompasses the full works: the inner and outer
lips, the clitoris, the vagina, the urethra.
She gets angry at the way so many women misuse
the ‘vagina’ word. The vagina’s the birth canal.
“You have to run the fuck,” she keeps telling us,
meaning that women need to take control of their
own orgasms and stop worrying if they’re being
sexy enough for their partners.
Masturbation is not a second-rate sexual activity.
It liberates you from the yoke of romantic love.
Wear thigh-high stockings and a skirt
with a slit up the side of one leg
when you are out on a date.
Not many women wear stockings these days.
As soon as you cross your leg over and he
catches sight of your suspenders he will
instantly be thinking of sex.
And not just any sex; he will be thinking
of the naughty kind of sex you find in
his secret fantasies!
Keep bringing his attention to your stockings
by absently stroking your knee or your thigh.
Uncross and re-cross your legs. Stand up to go
to the ladies and pointedly hitch your skirt
back down and give him a knowing look.
The urge to rip that skirt off and see exactly
what is underneath will be overwhelming for him.
You will be in for a treat tonight…
The narrative of the provocatively dressed woman seems to offer an enticing and uniquely female form of sexual power. Just by wearing revealing clothing, it appears, a woman can sexually arouse men; she can make them forget their girlfriends or their marriage vows, and she can even threaten their commitment to their work and their education.
She is the classic femme fatale: the woman who uses her sexual appeal to control and manipulate men to get what she wants. Men, in this narrative, are hostage to their sexual desire. At the mere sight of a short skirt or tight top, they can’t control themselves. Against their better judgment, they can become powerless in the face of a woman’s allure.
Perhaps, then, the provocatively dressed woman is a sexually empowered woman: she embraces and celebrates her power to arouse men rather than fears it. She is dangerous not because she is a threat to sexual morality but because she knows she is powerful, and she exercises her power when and how she sees fit. She consciously chooses to wear what is often refered to as “porn chic”